My Own Wings

"If you were an angel, would you watch me?"

This was my question, posed to a very close friend of mine. Someone I love with as much of my heart as I can give, and someone I appreciate even the most mundane words from, and someone I want to protect.

The desire to hold onto her friendship runs deep in my bones, despite the miles between us; I've known this girl for so very long... This is the part of friendship that I crave the most. Small talk doesn't become me, I'm far too eager for meaningful words. Oh my, the weather's quite dreadful today, but I'd rather talk to you about how the rain makes me feel so real down to the very core of my being.

I am currently reading I Am the Messenger, and I often wonder how Ed Kennedy can connect to these strangers so easily. How he can push himself to the limits of his own sanity to protect another person... It amazes me, because I move through relationships with other people in stages--even if I'd rather skip to the end.

I don't know a way to skip to the intense bond of a close, understanding friendship.

I want to speak with you in nonsensical riddles, our very own language of inside jokes. I want to loop my arm through yours and lean on your shoulder, just because these are all things I cannot do with a stranger.

I wonder if other people ever feel this way. If people ever crave guardian angels from their friendships, too. Maybe I'm just strange, but I want my own wings someday.

I want that strength, that warm connection to another person, that ability to watch over and protect someone else.